Date men from United States / California / Mariposa, 50 year old

Date a man from Mariposa, United States. I'm a real catch ladies! Sort of like that ugly catfish you can't wait to get off your hook. Actually I consider myself a solid 9.5... on a scale to, oh say, 30! But I'm working to get to a 12 and that way I can date a 10. Look, all I'm saying here is that I really know how to stretch a monthly government check and that should earn me extra points. SORRY! I can't date anyone more than 5 miles from Mariposa. That is as far as I'm willing to ride my bike. Unless your willing to pick me up then you can be from Fresno for all I care. But, if you pick me up you must promise, I mean put it in writing that you will bring me back eventually. I've been stranded too many times, for some reason in Merced, and had to peddle back. Man did my butt hurt!
So you think I should be a comedy writer? Forget it, I already have a job. Somebody has to wear a yellow vest and helment and pick up trash along the highways.
Okay, okay. I am employed and I have a pulse. Around 55 bpm last time I checked. I'm not particularily fat or short and my mostly full head of hair has no sign of grey but being 50 I'm sure that is not too far off.
I do like to peddle my bike though. That's why I live in Mariposa, lots of hills. I only worry about pumas, bears and bonking when I'm riding. I especially worry about bears. If you ever watched the movie Grizzly Man you'll know what I'm talking about.
If you get my sense of humor lets have a chat and make each other laugh! If you think this is stupid or I'm trying too hard well there are lots of dudes out there to kiss your butt.
Time for me to push some gears! Later.