Date men from United States / California / McKinleyville, 46 year old

Date someone special from California, United States. ME: 4'8", 275 lbs, live with my mother, need someone to help shave my back.
YOU: supermodel, know how to lance a boil, experienced in removing warts and ingrown hairs, must have own toenail trimming tools (grinder, bolt cutters), knowledge of skin diseases and belly button lint removal a plus, must have good sense of humor.
But seriously folks, try the meatloaf, remember to tip your waitress, I'll be here all week.....or until some lucky woman snatches me up :) Might be here next year.
We've all been here....what to say, what to say....Things that I like: Sleeping under the stars, campfires, things that make me use my brain, challenges, that feeling of satisfaction you get when you know you've given 100%, lazy afternoons, farms, organized chaos, getting dirty, getting clean, snow, deep conversation, History Channel, Discovery Channel, music, back rubs (giving and recieving), sushi, frozen yogurt, spell check, mexican food, waking up to the smell of coffee, sunrises, sunsets,.....
Things I would like to do some day:
Go skydiving,
Fly a paraglider,
Stand in the Parthanon,
Kayak the Yukon,
See the "Hot gates" of Thermopylae,
Fly a squirrel suit,
Climb Yosemites' El Capitan and Half Dome,
Have a pint in an Irish pub....in Ireland,
Enough about me, tell me about yourself.