Date men from United States / California / Three Rivers, 62 year old

Date a soulmate from Three Rivers, United States. Hopefully I can portray myself as I really am. I'm absolutely hysterical, but how do I show that here without throwing out some gratuitous humor that might actually make me look like a fool? Friends have said that when I’m around the humor level goes up. Now, this is fortunate, as most profiles indicate that the author (ahem) “Loves to laugh”. I find this interesting. Does anybody hate to laugh? I think not. I really am fun, and pretty bright for someone who can be an occasional dimwit about some things. I’m worth a try - honest enough to get myself in trouble and smart enough to get myself out of it! See for yourself! I live in a great community in the Sierra Foothills, and I’ve remodeled my house to be a comfortable place in which to view the mountains across the street (I’m often told that I’m very artistic and multi-talented). I enjoy getting into those mountains and trips to the coast as well. So let’s have a few laughs, stimulating conversation, and seek out new adventures!
In looking at so many profiles, it’s as interesting to see what women aren’t looking for as much as what they are looking for. And what they aren’t looking for is more than likely what they’ve experienced and want to avoid in the future. I often see honesty and integrity mentioned – but if you have these qualities, which I do, how do you express them on an online dating site where anybody can portray themselves as anything they’d like? This online dating is a tough way to make a living! But here we are, aren’t we?
So what would I like in a woman? Well, a woman who is height-weight proportional and definitely a woman who can write her own name. I won’t tolerate a woman who can’t write her own name. After that, we can take it from there. I’ve had some interesting experiences on these websites, and my most recent (and weirdest) inspired me to give it up for awhile. This was with a woman who lives a half hour away, with whom I talked for FOUR HOURS on the telephone before we were going to meet – and during that time she asked if I’d be willing to relocate to Spain in seven years when she retires. Now, I have a policy against relocating internationally with someone 7 years from now until I’ve actually MET them, and she eventually sent me an email indicating the we probably don’t have enough in common to actually meet. So I’ve been done with this for awhile. But I’ve found one or two women who have grabbed my interest and, well, here I am again.
So there.