Date a man from California, United States. Grammar lesson 1: Knowing the difference between your crap and you're crap! Got it people?
And today you are the oldest you've every been and the youngest you'll ever be. So get use to it ladies!
How much does a polar bear weigh? Do women fart? What's the difference between jam and jelly? Or why does Jesus not like M and M's? Does a vegetarian eat animal crackers? Did you own a Teddy Rupskin? These are some of the many questions that keep me up at night. A bear walks south for one kilometer, then it walks west for one kilometer, then it walks north for one kilometer and ends up at the same point from which it started. What color was the bear? (It's white, it's a polar bear people, it's the only place that has a bear where you can walk any direction and it's south, think about it)
Seriously if you read all that and asked yourself really, the truth is everything you read represents your mood and your personality. So I might as well keep it silly and fun because if you can't smile or giggle while reading it you're(see the correct us in action, because it's you are) too uptight anyways. Go take a chill pill and come back and read it again please.
Now pretend I filled this with generic stuff about how I want all those great things and how awesome I am, like totally I'm the perfect guy we have so much in common, yay! Seriously keep it original though.