Date men and women from United States / Alabama / Dauphin Island, 36 year old

Date a man from Alabama, United States. **vacationing on Dauphin Island**
For a straight guy I whistle a lot. Rock 'n' roll, movie themes, game shows. Love The Price is Right, the end credits especially.
The Question. Why am I here? B/c I refuse to play the Dating Game, an unwritten code of rote dialogue and behavior which most people know and blindly obey. A manchild tells a woman precisely what she wants to hear and six months later she racks her brain wondering why he's 'changed'. I don't want to sleep alone, but I will have my self-respect. And coffee. Must... have... coffee.
Plus, sex is better with two people.
Here it is with a cherry on top. By age 36, you can traverse the adult dating universe and stop at every planet along the way. You become so independent and self-aware it's medically abnormal. You know what you can and can't give, what you will and won't put up with, and you know exactly what you want, don't want and everything else is, well, bullsh(cough!). I've had lots of time to think and wean myself off things that some people can't take a pi$$ without. At this point there's only one thing I can't do to or for myself. No expectations here but I already have friends. Coffee-and-a-handshake ain't on the menu.
Preconceptions about childless men: Irresponsible; Selfish; Don't like kids or respect single Mom's; In a hurry to make babies; always forget to put the seat down... Innocent on all counts.
A fit or youthful single Mom or 40ish-50ish woman is sexier than any 20 y. o.. Period. I would elaborate here but that would take days. When I was 12, my then-46 y.o. teacher said, "Morgan, some day you'll make some 40 y.o. woman very happy." I was an odd child and not much has changed.
I'm a calm, focused person raised by strong, intelligent women in an ultra-authentic environment. An excellent shrink and 4 years in the Marines didn't hurt either. Zero BS Past This Point. No bragging, begging, manipulating, small talk, competing, drama or fighting. This perplexes some people and even irritates a few more. But that's Ok. They'll live.
Best advice I ever received: Don't worry what people are thinking about you, because they're not. (Mom, paraphrased).
As the offspring of a happy and highly-functional single parent, the concept of marriage always baffled me. And years of bachelorhood brings wonderful benefits which I'm not giving up soon. I'm not fake or forced, bubbly or smooth, prim or proper, romantic or domesticated. I would rather drink strychnine than go to a party, but if I must, show me to the food and wake me up when it's over.
I'm a man, not a woman. I don't act, talk, or think like a woman. I don't broadcast my feelings, go to baby showers and I never confuse sex with romance. Accept this and I will embrace all your new shoes, even though you already have a zillion.
Meet the quintessential health and fitness nut. Lifelong habit. I'm not Lance Armstrong but he doesn't have much on me. Weights, running, aerobics, vitamins, sea salt, moisturizers and TONS of stretching; nobody wants to get old. I don't care if you exercise, but if it's obvious that you don't, thanks for stopping by.
Life's short, we all have agendas and only birds of a feather flock together. I figure we're all looking for the same things, just in a different order and proportion. I'm not here for a pen pal, beauty queen, drinkin' buddy, Sugar Momma, shrink, life coach, or Mary Kay rep. Me man, you woman, and we're not in 6th grade anymore. I don't care what's in your IPOD. Last time I checked it's about treatment, affection, chemistry, hormones, priorities, love languages, hormones, affection, affection. But what do I know.
Here's what's in it for you: Honest and direct conversation; free house and yard work; sincere compliments; laughing; listening; teasing; hopping and skipping; hand-holding, hugging, kissing, massaging, petting and cuddling. That's about it. If you're still with me, yippee skippy. If not