Date men and women from United States / California / Portola, 46 year old

Date a soulmate from California, United States. I should say I'm not a fitness fanatic, so don't let my screen name fool fool you. It's more about just being healthy in general. So, with that out of the way... Once upon a time, I was born. Since then, a lot has been happening in my life. Probably too much to get into right now.
So skip to the present day and you pretty much have the same old story. You know the one... boy meets girl, yadda yadda... boy meets another girl, yadda yadda... boy meets another girl and her room-mate, yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda... I'm kidding, of course. My story is basically the same old story... but newer. Shinier. With a little less hair.
Basically I don't do the bar scene and I live in a barely populated area, so here I am, crashing on the proverbial couch of internet dating for a while. (Hey internet dating, we're out of peanut butter.) Anyway, drop me a line. You could do a lot worse. (Oh sure, you could do better too... but I spent my entire ad budget on that tagline so that's the angle I'm taking.)
Seriously though, I'm a nice guy... but I'm trying to change that. I suspect I've been a little too much Alan and not enough Charlie. So thanks for the wake up call, Chuck Lorre, if you're reading this. And Chuck, if you are reading this... Why?!! (Or did I somehow get on the wrong website?)
WHO I'M LOOKING FOR... My perfect match is the one that is honest, straightforward and trustworthy (and lights on the first strike). What do I look for? Really I don't look, I just leap. Maybe I should start looking first. Probably a good idea. I mean, this one time in college it was late at night and dark and I decided to leap into the neighbor's hot tub without looking and... well... I should definitely start looking before I leap. I'm gonna get back to you on this. Someone who doesn't remind me of my naked neighbor, for starters. So if you're clothed when we meet, you're off to a good start already! If you're not... well then I guess it's me who's off to a good start. Seriously though, I'm looking for someone who likes the outdoors to go hiking/biking/snowshoeing or play tennis with. I'm open to friendship, dating, a relationship or just outdoor activity friends. No pressure here.
My IDEAL first date? Well, there's the one that involves a 1936 Mercedes-Benz 500K Roadster with Kendra and Jennifer Aniston, each wielding a bucket of soapy water and sponge, fighting over who's going to wear which half of the only available bikini on the island during a summer rainstorm as the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes helicopter lands on the lawn behind the beach house... Does that count? I mean, maybe we should define some parameters for this "ideal" concept. In my mind, a truly "ideal" first date might not even involve me!
My favorite movie is Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. It's the only movie I like. No others but Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. I won't even go to a theater unless they're showing Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. I've never seen it, mind you. I just like saying "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang". Therefore, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is my favorite movie. Also, I suspect Chitty Chitty Bang Bang might be good.
Finally, the legal stuff - all celebrity names are mentioned purely for entertainment purposes. The author has no personal ties to, or affiliation with Jennifer Aniston or Kendra Wilkinson, no matter how much he would like to claim otherwise. In the event that Jennifer Aniston, Kendra Wilkinson or even Chuck Lorre, for that matter, wishes to contact me, the author authorizes this website to immediately forward my personal contact information without hesitation or restriction to said celebrity and even shuttle them directly to my front door.