Date men and women from United States / Colorado / Penrose, 43 year old

Date someone special from United States. I am divorced twice (it wasn't me, it was them, I swear. I'm actually perfect. [/sarcasm font]) Seriously, none of us is perfect and it's high time we all stop looking for it because it doesn't happen . . . however . . .
I do believe that there is a perfect match out there for everyone and I'm ready to find it because at 43, I'm running out of options. I am a hell of a lot of fun to be around, massively sarcastic, but beneath the funny, wiseass exterior I am incredibly loyal. If you are lucky enough to win my heart, you can be assured that you will always have it and it will never stray.
TOTAL HONESTY MOMENT (READ CAREFULLY SO THERE IS NO MISCOMMUNICATION):
My goal is to find the ONE woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with. We're going to be compatible in every way. Sexually, spiritually, as friends . . . everything. BUT, if acceptable and clean, d&d free one night stands or FWB are offered my way, I'm not going to turn those down in the meantime. I long ago accepted the fact that I am a fully functional male and my brain is frequently located in my pants. You will not be disappointed no matter which one of those desires you choose to fill.
Take a chance either way . . . I'm a CATCH!!