Date someone special from Del Rey Oaks, United States. You like to fix cars, seГ±orita? I have a car you can fix. You like to mow lawns? I have lawns you can mow. Allow me, SeГ±ior Dork, to take you away to a fantasy world filled with only the finest chores to be done! Yes, I am looking for a woman to take care of me... ...Oh, it's not because I'm incapable, it's just that I don't want to. For you see, in some ways (in fact most ways) I am a very lazy man. A lazy, lazy man. So, it occurred to me that I might as well find me a girl (preferably one whom is easy on the eyes) to labor her life away before me. I really like watching OTHER people do all the work. If you chose to escort me, I will whisk you away to a nice resturant. Maybe even the movies or a show... but I expect something in return... We'll get back to my place and that's when you begin laboring in the Georgian summer heat! I expect that lawn to look like the Augusta Nationals golf course by sun-up! Now get back to work! Oh, and please bring the gas, I'm not supplying it!Well, she better have a strong back for pushing that mower up hills... But enough with the jokes. Let's see. I like girls who smile. I never smile. It's because when I was younger I was in an accident and hideously deformed. But I joke once again. I am not deformed. I am full and able bodied. Two words: Harvey Danger!!! Harvey Danger is the best band on the planet. THE PLANET! I would prefer a girl who knows and likes said band. But hey, I don't like girls who are too easy. Do you know why? Because there is something emotionally wrong with them. See, if she's easy for me, that means she is easy for everybody else. What's the point!?! But I digress on my psychotic rant for the perfect female. She must also possess the RING OF POWER! *GASP* this thing looks like it was written by a sixth grader!