Date men and women from United States / California / Campbell, 92 year old

Date men and women from California, United States. Update July 2012: busy catching bullets in my teeth while swimming up shitzcreek without a paddle...eew! But I'll be back and i promise I'll shower first..*giggle* Note to self: Keep mouth closed until bullet approaches...bleck! [relocating at the moment ~ coming to a neighborhood near you]
I don’t suffer from insanity, I actually enjoy every minute of it. I love the simple things in life like family, friends, nature and good ol’ belly laughs. I have an open mind but at times that can be a challenge �cause my brains keep falling out.. but only the dumb blonde parts that don’t matter…and besides I always use the 5 second rule and just stuff them back in.
I love meeting people, learning about them, and having some fun. My hope is to connect with others who also value great friendships, honesty, loyalty, integrity and good conversation. I believe that every person we meet has something to teach us about ourselves…and who knows maybe I could end up being the greatest fan of your life. Besides, I'm really missing some male energy over here;o) Oh yeah, if you own and ride a motorcycle..yay! I come with my own helmet. No motorcycle?. No worries, a piggyback ride would be just as fun;o) Let's go?
"25 reasons why you wanna be mine"
25. You will be treated to foot massages.
24. Animals love me.
23. Parents like to kiss me on the forehead.
22. Children gravitate to me.
21. You can leave the toilet seat up in my bathroom.
20. You can hold the TV remote.
19. You can sing in the car.
18. I donРІР‚в„ўt care what you wear or what you drive.
17. I will let you try and stuff me in your suitcase.
16. IРІР‚в„ўm strong enough to give YOU a piggyback ride.
15. I will help you move.
14. I love doing things that are free.
13. I don't mind if you text me.
12. I don't like shopping.
11. I give the best hugs ever.
10. My bedroom looks like the inside of a GenieРІР‚в„ўs bottle.
9. I will eat up anything you make for me.
8. I am not afraid to get my hands dirty.
7. I will let you protect me.
6. You can push me around town in a grocery cart.
5. I wear colorful socks.
4. I can be ready in 20 minutes.
3. I always use polite sign language in traffic.
2. I will drop you off and pick you up at the airport.
1. You will think about our kisses the next day. Muah!
**Although I can be goofy and funny...a lot. This is not all that I am. I've seen and experienced horrific tragedies and losses in this life and have felt and still have brief moments of the deepest of sorrows. I've been to both the highest peaks and the darkest valleys. Taken both the red and blue pill (matrix).. and the best lesson I've learned from it all is no matter what has happened or is happening...that laughter is always the best medicine! RAWR!
Deep Thoughts: "It's always darkest before the dawn..so if you're going to steal your neighbor's paper, that's the time to do it!"
Fav lyrics: I'll be the grapes fermented, bottled and served with the table set in my finest suit like a perfect gentleman. I'll be the fire escape that's bolted to the ancient brick where you will sit and contemplate your day. I'll be the waterwings that save you if you start drowning in an open tab when your judgment's on the brink. I'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite albums back as you're lying there drifting off to sleep. I'll be the platform shoes, undo what heredity's done to you and won't have to strain to look into my eyes. I'll be your winter coat, buttoned and zipped straight to the throat with the collar up so you won't catch a cold. I want to take you far from the cynics in this town and kiss you on the mouth. We'll cut our bodies free from the tethers of this scene start a brand new colony. Where everything will change, we'll give ourselves new names identities erased, The sun will heat the grounds under our bare feet In this brand new colony. Everything will change.tps
We're probably not a match if you are: a hunter, a racist, a deadbeat dad, an ex-con or gwbush fan.